


Worthier Than You Believe

by ShakespearePoet101



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Natasha Romanov, F/M, Hints of Romance (IronWidow), Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Protective Natasha Romanov, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, tony is worthy, tony picks up mjolnir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 11:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15194030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShakespearePoet101/pseuds/ShakespearePoet101
Summary: Tony Stark had always been told by his father that he was worthless. To the point that Tony started to believe it wholeheartedly. So how can Tony possibly try something that could truly show how worthless he truly is? With a long talk and a petite Russian spy, that's how.





	Worthier Than You Believe

What started as an ordinary day, or as ordinary as one can get, quickly succumbed to a whirlwind of chaos. Or at least that's what Tony believed at least. Of course you didn't have to take his word for it, but he was mostly never wrong. So you should really listen to him. 

Of course this all wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Bird Brain. The neanderthal thought it would be "fun" if the Avengers tried picking up Mjolnir. Which was of course met with a chorus of agreement from the others. The only one not willing to participate was the resident billionaire himself. He just wanted to be back down in his lab with his music and Jarvis. He had just come up with a design for the next Iron Man suit, and he was vibrating with anticipation to go bring his ideas to life. However he was not allowed to go until he tried picking up the damn hammer. 

Which of course he had complained about, was still complaining about to be precise.

"Oh come on guys. Who here really thinks I am worthy enough to weild Mjolnir?" Tony asked with a raised brow as he stared at the gathered team. He watched as the rest of the Avengers shifted in their seats. Which of course caused him to grin in accomplishment. Even though he ignored the faint twinge of pain that his team mates agreement caused. Though his dreams were soon crushed by Point Break himself.

"It does not matter what we think Man of Iron. It only matters what Mjolnir has deemed worthy or not," Thor said with a kind smile, that Tony couldn't help but return. Even if Tony was slightly miffed at Thor for ruining his escape plan, he could never intentionally be mean to him. That would be like kicking a puppy. 

"Thanks Poptart, that means a lot," Tony replied with a grin and watched as Thor frowned slightly at the new nickname before grinning in return. 

Legolas soon growing tired of the seemingly endless proceedings shot up with a grin. And, what Tony could only assume was, a maniacal type of glee in his eyes. Which made his stomach twist in a way that he hadn't felt since his freshman year of college. "So are we going to get this party on the road or not?"

The others shifted in their seats, obviously ready to start. However there seemed to be an almost ominous air surrounding them. As if, if any of them were too exuberant, besides Clint of course, they would break the fragile bond between them. However, soon enough, Thor spoke up. 

"Why don't we start? For I fear the Eye of Hawk will soon explode if we do not," Thor said with a joyful smile. However, again, no one moved. Simply because they didn't know what order to go in. Seeing their confusion Thor spoke once more. "If you truly do not know, why not go in the order in which you arrived."

After a moment everyone seemed to agree on that. Which, luckily for him, put Tony last. Thank whatever deity was out there. (Thor didn't count.)

Natasha, having arrived first, stood with grace and walked to Mjolnir. Tony watched, with bated breath, as Nat grabbed the handle and tugged. 

It moved, barely, and Tony noticed that it took obvious effort on her part, which was not a good sign for him. At all.

"A valiant effort, Natasha!" Thor exclaimed, smiling widely. While everyone else smiled at her kindly. Natasha managed a slight smile for them, however she quickly retreated back to her seat on the floor, looking like the very epitome of a secret agent. However, to Tony, she looked slightly disappointed, which he would talk to her later about. If she would even want to talk to him about it. 

Bruce stared at the hammer for a moment before quietly stepping back, shaking his head ruefully.

"What's the matter?" Tony asked, slight worry coloring his voice.

"The Other Guy doesn't seem to trust Mjolnir, and he doesn't want me to touch it because he doesn't want me to get hurt. That and Mjolnir seems to not want Hulk around either, so I think it would be best if I sit this one out. Is that okay Thor?"

"Of course Bruce, if Mjolnir and the Hulk have come to an agreement to stay away from each other than who am I to disregard that?" Thor said with a small smile, which caused everyone else to smile as well. 

Bruce, who was still smiling, sat back down on the couch. 

After a few moments of silence, Tony spoke. (He always hated long periods of silence.)

"I think it's your turn Bird Brain. Try not to upset Mjolnir too much, okay?" Tony said with a smirk.

Clint shot him a glare, but it held no real heat behind, and set himself before Mjolnir. Tony watched as Clint's muscles tensed as he tried to heave the hammer into the air. However the hammer was resolute to stay on the floor. Not moving an inch even when Clint looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel. Soon enough Clint stopped, panting heavily. 

"Valiant try, shield brother!" Thor exclaimed once Clint sat back down. "Though it seems Mjolnir is feeling rather resolute today." 

The others only nodded looking at the hammer. Tony could tell the ones who had already went were feeling... disheartened. After all they were the world's mightiest heroes, and they weren't worthy enough to pick up Thor's hammer. Tony knew that must have been a blow to them, even though he knew they wouldn't let it show. 

"Yeah, well, it's America's turn now," Clint said, frowning and crossing his arms. Which caused Tony to realize that Clint was taking the hammers denial to heart.

Steve simply smiled as he walked before the hammer and grabbed its hilt and tugged.

It lifted without trouble. 

"Of course," Clint groaned, throwing his hands up into the air in exasperation, a hint of annoyance clouding his eyes. "How could I be so stupid as to believe that Steve Rogers wouldn't be able to pick up Mjolnir. After all he's the worthiest son of a bitch alive today. So go figure." Clint grumbled angrily.

Tony said nothing, allowing nothing to show on his face. Though, privately, he agreed with Clint. It would figure that Captain Perfect, the man his father had praised more than his own son, would be found worthy of the power of a god. It was a bitter taste in the back of his throat, but he'd expected it and didn't let his reaction show on his face. He would never let anyone know how much Steve Rogers could get to him. Even though the man knew not if his actions towards him. It was something so innate in Tony that made him always feel less than Rogers. Something, that he supposed, was hammered into his head at a young age. That Rogers was God's gift to this earth, though he hadn't truly believed it until now. Until a literal weapon made by the gods themselves found Rogers worthy. A thought that sent a bitter lance through Tony's heart. Though, of course, he kept silent on his warring thoughts. 

"So that just leaves Tony," Bruce said, glancing in Tony's direction, which also brought Tony out of his reverie. He stiffened as all eyes turned to him, and forced a smirk onto his face. 

"Oh come on guys! If Legolas and Nat couldn't do it, I sure as hell can't," Tony said with a dismissive wave of his hand. 

"Don't sell yourself short Tony. Who knows you may surprise us and yourself," Natasha said looking at him with a sparkle, that only he could discern, in her eyes.

"Yes, do try friend Tony. It is not up to us to decide whether we are worthy or not. That job is for Mjolnir," Thor said, his booming voice filled with mirth. 

However Tony felt anything but the feeling of joy at that moment. In fact, an intense feeling of dread washed over him. He felt his palms grow clammy as every moment passed. How could he go up there and test something that he already knew? How could he willingly allow himself to see something he had always dreaded knowing? He knew he wasn't worthy, knew that no matter what he did. What he will do in the future. There was no way to erase the things he had done in the past. No way to become worthy again. After all, how can he be worthy to Mjolnir when he wasn't even worthy to himself?

Though just as Tony opened his mouth to say something, red alarms started to blare signalling that the world needed the Avengers. Tony, feeling relief washing over him, shot up with his team mates. All of them already moving to get suited up. 

In all the commotion it was easy to forget. To forget what they were doing and in doing so, it was easy for Tony to ignore the sense of what if's. It was easy to ignore the sense of melancholy that weighed on his chest, and it was easy to ignore the fact that Tony had almost gotten his answer to a life long question. 

However that didn't matter now.

And as Tony felt his helmet close around his face, he couldn't ignore Natasha's unwavering gaze that was locked onto his face. He couldn't ignore the compassion in her normally stoic gaze.

Even if he wanted to.

Even if he *needed* to.

oOo

The fight had been a relatively easy one. Which Tony could count his blessings for. The Avengers had been at the tower for about an hour now, and to his knowledge he was the only one awake. The others having retired rather early. Tony glanced at the clock on his tablet and smirked. He was actually going to bed at a reasonable time, Pepper would be so proud.

However since he was so invested in the fact that he had done something relatively healthy. He didn't notice the petite Russian spy sitting on his couch. 

And since there was no one else in the room, there was also no one to corroborate that he had screamed like a little girl when Natasha cleared her throat. Though by the spy's raised eyebrow, it was something she would hold over him for quite some time. Oh well better than Barton knowing and the entirety of S.H.I.E.L.D. finding out because of it. 

Once his heart beat slowed to its regular cycle, Tony spoke with his signature smirk. "Natasha, what have I done that garnered this pleasure of you waiting up for me?"

Natasha quirked her brow once again before responding. "How do you know I was waiting for you Stark? Can't I just sit out here to think?" 

Tony, deciding quickly that two could play at that game, smiled smugly.

"Alright then Agent, I will be off to bed then. Have a good time... thinking," Tony said with a wave of his hand as he walked towards the stairs. 

He could feel his smirk grow when he heard a muttered curse in Russian and small hand clasped him on his shoulder. 

Tony turned towards Natasha with a patient smile on his face and a raised brow. 

"Yes?"

Natasha scowled darkly at the turn of events but decided to dismiss it for what she had been waiting to do. And to say Tony, if he had known what she had been planning to talk about, would have a run for the hills and become a hermit was putting it lightly. 

"Why were you so scared to pick up Thor's hammer?" Natasha asked, standing across from him with folded arms. Which was a signal to Tony that his plan for living a life of recluse wasn't going to happen. At least, not until he spoke to Natasha.

Which he *really* didn't want to do. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Tony said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "If we would of had time, then I definitely would have tried in picking up Mjolnir."

For one moment Tony had thought that Natasha was going to leave it at that, but of course he couldn't count on the odds being in his favor. The devilish smile the red head now held certainly wasn't helping.

"Then why don't you try right now," Natasha said but Tony had a feeling it was more of an order than a request. 

"What do you mean?"

Natasha only smirked and stepped aside, revealing Mjolnir. Tony felt a spark of annoyance at Thor for leaving Mjolnir in the common room again. Though that was soon overpowered by the intense feeling of dread that suddenly washed over him. 

He didn't even realize when Natasha gently led him to sit on the couch. He was barely focused on his surroundings. All he could think about was that damn hammer, and all the negative thoughts that grew from there. 

Though soon his gaze focused in on the green that was watching him. He could see the cleverly veiled concern in her eyes and knew that he would have to talk. There was no way of getting out of it now. So with a sigh he lowered his head in defeat. Which seemed to be a sign for her to begin her questions.

"Why do you not want to at least try to pick up the hammer? I thought being a scientist, you would be all over it," Natasha said with a small smile. 

Tony knew that she was trying to make a joke, which was very rare from her. Though he couldn't bring himself to feel happiness, not when he could barely get his mind in order. 

So with a small sigh, Tony began. "Have you ever felt like you could never possibly measure up to something someone so desperately wanted you to be?" By her raised eyebrow, Tony knew it was an idiotic question to ask her but it was the only way he knew how to get the ball rolling. "Well my whole life that person was Steve Rogers." At that admission he could see understanding starting to dawn in her eyes. 

"Go on."

Tony, suddenly wanting to get the weight off his chest, began to speak. "My father, Howard Stark, was a brilliant inventor but a horrible father. He spent the majority of my childhood searching for Steve. Now, as a kid, I was completely enamored with the thought of Captain America. The selfless hero that gave his life to protect our country, but as the years went by I couldn't help but start to hate him. I didn't understand why my father never looked at me the way he looked when he would talk about Steve. Everything that I did was never good enough, not that he would notice it because again the majority of his time was spent searching for Steve. That hatred only grew as I grew older. Everything I did could never measure up to Rogers. I was never worthy enough for his time or love. I was never worthy enough to be given any sort of acknowledgment. I was never worthy enough because of Steve Rogers."

"And now?"

Tony scoffed bitterly, folding his arms and turning his head to look out the window. "Now," he said bitterly. "Now after meeting the guy I could see why my father cared for him so deeply. I can see why my father always put me in second. I am nothing compared to him. I have done nothing compared to him. I *am* nothing compared to him. Though foolishly I thought maybe, just maybe, all the work I have done. Everything that I have given, would finally put me on par with Rogers. Would finally show that I am worthy. Then he had to pick up Mjolnir. The one thing that proves to all who truly is worthy. Steve did it so effortlessly and all the delusional fantasies came crashing back down. I should never think that I can be better than what I have always been. I have never been worthy of anything and I never will be. That's the way things are, who am I to change it?"

A crippling silence fell over the two before Natasha stood up with fury painted across her features. 

"That's complete bullshit Stark and you know it," Natasha said with a menacing glare. 

"It's not Nat," Tony said, finally feeling the weight of this revelation start to weigh on him. 

"Yes it is Tony, don't you see how caring and amazing you are? Don't you see how much you have done? How many lives you have saved? How the hell wouldn't you be worthy?" Natasha asked, now crouching down in front of him. 

"Because what I have done now, doesn't atone for what I have down in the past," Tony said dismally. 

A hard look passed across Natasha's face before she spoke. "So everything you have told me is a lie? Every time you told me that I'm better than my past. Every time that you told me I'm more than what the red room made me into. Every single time you told me that the red in my ledger was something in my past and that I should keep it there. All of that was a lie?" Natasha asked with a ferocity in her voice. However Tony was quick to reply.

"No, Nat, of course not. I would never lie to you about something like that. You *are* better than what that place did to you. You have proven that countless times. You are, with out a doubt, someone that most people should aspire to be. You have done everything in your power to atone for what you had no control of, and even then you still stood up for yourself. You were able to flourish in a place where you were only meant to die. Never think any less of your accomplishments Nat, because that would be one of the greatest tragedies," Tony said with utter conviction in his voice. 

"Then why can't you be better than yours?" 

Tony didn't have a response to that. How could he? 

He looked up, startled, when he felt his bicep be gripped with an iron like hold. He said nothing as Natasha pulled him up and led him Mjolnir. She only let go when Tony was standing right in front of Mjolnir. 

"Try," Natasha said simply, waving towards the hammer. 

"Nat please," Tony tried but Natasha cut him off with a pointed glare. 

"Try it Anthony," Natasha said a warning edge in her voice. 

Tony felt himself wilt at the tone of voice. He knew there was no way of him getting out of this. 

So with a resigned sigh, and a heavy heart, Tony grasped Mjolnir's handle. He felt the cool wood underneath his palm. He could also feel the faint hum of the hammer itself. Something that Tony was immediately intrigued about, though that didn't matter much right now. 

He glanced up at Nat and she only narrowed her gaze and nodded towards the hammer. Tony felt his shoulders slump in defeat.

With a deep breath, he closed his eyes and yanked up. 

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing happened.

Tony didn't even feel a tug or the faint weight of the hammer. Which could only mean one thing, he failed.

Tony clamped his eyes shut harder, he didn't want to see his failure in person. He didn't want to see something he always knew but always hoped was wrong become true. 

However when he felt a small hang on his shoulder, he couldn't help but open them. Only to look into the smiling green eyes staring back at him. 

Which caused Tony to immediately look down at the hammer clamped firmly in his raised fist. He felt immediate tears prick his eyes and glanced back up at Natasha with a grin. 

With out even thinking about it Tony set Mjolnir down and embraced Natasha. His grin only growing larger when he felt his embrace be returned.

"Thank you Nat. So much," Tony whispered into her ear 

He felt rather than saw Natasha's small smile before she responded. "You don't have to thank me Tony. I was only doing something you have done for me countless times over."

Tony only nodded as he released Natasha, who simply smiled at him.

"I better be off to bed now," Natasha said as she started making her way towards the stairs but before she scaled them she turned back. "And Tony?"

Tony looked at her, a clear signal for her to continue.

"Don't let anyone else tell you, that you are any less than the man you have made yourself to be. Because you are worthy Tony Stark, more so than you'll ever know."

Before Tony could respond the Russian spy disappeared up the stairs.

Tony couldn't help but smile as he looked down onto Mjolnir.

"More worthy than I think, huh?" Tony said with an amused sparkle in his eyes. Though as he glanced down once again at the hammer, he couldn't help but think.

Yeah maybe he was.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Everyone! I hope you liked this one shot!
> 
> If you would like more, feel free to send me prompts of any story that you would like to see. I would be happy to do it. 
> 
> Also feel free to follow me on Tumblr, (it's ShakespearePoet101.)


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